There have been many twists, turns, dead ends and backtracks on the road to where I am today, your life coach. I was born and raised on a farm near a small town in America’s heartland. It was a magical life, although I did not think so at the time. When you are raised on a farm, there is work to be done, the smallest of people have their assigned duties. We were poor and did not have much in the way of material things and it was hard to get by at times. It is not all hard work however, and the way of life seeps into your soul at an early age. As far as home life, I did have a happy childhood, my parents treated me and my brothers well, there was never any abuse. Life was simple and pure. It was a sheltered life and did not prepare me for the possibility that there were people out there in the world who sought to do harm. Because of this, I fell in love with a boy from high school who was raised in a much different environment than I. Love in his house was tainted with tempers and abuse, so he grew up believing that love/abuse/control all went together and it was normal. Many of the tales from that marriage can be found in my book “The Caged Heart”. Along with the physical abuse, He called me stupid and told me I would be nothing if it were not for him, and I believed him. I think I was depressed most of that time. This marriage lasted 22 years before I found the courage to change.
I thought I had learned a lot about abuse and bad marriages, but that didn’t stop me from hastening into another marriage, ignoring all the red flags that the second husband proudly flew. To this day I ponder which relationship was worse, with no clear answer, even though the second husband was never physically violent towards me. I walked away from that marriage broken and in debt.
By that time I was tired of being a victim and decided it was time to take back my life, finally be a survivor. Luckily, I had never turned to vices such as drugs or alcohol to get me through, so my only hinderance was my own depression. I also had beautiful family I will be forever grateful to, who helped me when I needed it most. With their help, I pulled myself out of the mess I had made of my life and began the transformation. Healing does not take place over night, but with determination and a helping hand, it is truly possible.
I am now writing the next chapter of my life surrounded by my beautiful family. I am proud of the people my children have become and adore the grandchildren they have given me. I have even found a special someone willing to take on all the complications that come with a relationship with a guarded person.
Everyone has a story; I love to listen to them. Our life experiences shape us into what we are today. We are never finished though; life is always working on us, we can let it have it’s way with us or we can take the reins, we have the power to shape our own destiny.